reality is subjective

He says i like being depressed. 

Maybe he’s right. 

At least it’s a good excuse.

fact.

marleydoesthemidwest:

It’s time to move back to Milwaukee.

 A-fucking-men.

contrast

(version 3)

She sat on a rock staring out into space, listening to the waves creep up on the sand and only remotely aware of the colors of the sun bleeding from the horizon… not giving this moment her full attention seemed terribly uncomfortable and dissonant, but some thought in the back of her mind wouldn’t let her slip away.  It held her down, grounded like a kite twisted up in a tree…

A jolt like a surge of electricity brought her back to reality as she was presented with a choice.  In another state of mind this would have been a simple yes or no, but now there seemed to be so many confounding factors effecting this decision…

Where will this take me? and who else will be there? How far will it take me and in which direction?

That grin of reassurance reminds her, she already made the decision, and she’s already there…

She wanders without direction searching for a connection venturing deeper into a new reality

she slips,

and falters,

and chokes on some water,

and then immediately everything changes…  I take a deep breath as I try to remember, and the room fills with obscurity and smoke and the colors fade to grey…

What a silly question, I think, as disconnected words come out of my mouth.  My mind can’t even communicate with my own body, much less the other people in the room… Where are they?

I wish I could be there with them, but I just can’t shake this feeling of being stretched and tied down in all directions and I can’t find my way out of this spiraling path…

—-

I sit down and curl up into a ball and try to remember where I was going…

the emotions,

the music,

the spiraling tangents,

decisions,

colors,

the waves,

the room,

the fire,

the woods,

the crowd, 

every moment since we started, 

blurred lines,

the snow,

the smoke,

curiosity,

the adventure,

every adventure,

the paper crane,

one moment,

tension,

surprises,

connections,

searching,

waiting… and it twists and turns until…

And again i’m brought back to the room and realize i’m standing, and I don’t know why…

but no one noticed.

You win, I concede in my mind, and the room is suddenly bright blue and purple and I sigh, and I laugh, and I sit down to try again…